Memories
by CrazyClumsyCoco15
Summary: Ron's abandonment has taken its toll on Hermione more than she likes to admit. It's a shame how nobody chooses the one they love. Songfic "Memories" by Within Temptation". First fanfic :)


**Sooooo, this is my first posted fanfic (yaaaaay, I'm so exciteeeeed) :3 ehm, okay, I lied, it's actually my second, but since I can't find the first one, it doesn't count! I came up with this idea when I was eleven or something (4 years ago!) but I modified it yesterday & it's much better than before (naturally!) anyway, plz read and review, but no flames coz I'm sensitive & I'm just 15 years old (minus 2 days :D ), so if there are any flames, they'll be considered child abuse :P**

**English is not my mother language, so I'm feeling a bit insecure, but I hope there aren't a lot of mistakes.  
>This is a songfic based on "memories" by within temptation (my favorite band of all time <strong>** )**

**Oh, & I don't own harry potter (makes dull face)**

**I should really stop talking now, so here's the fic.**

I sit outside the miserable tent with nothing but the darkness surrounding me. Tears roll down my pale, dirty face and I sob silently, trying to stifle the sounds coming out of me so as not to wake my dark-haired friend, who's having a deep, but troubled slumber. He has the weight of the whole world on his young shoulders; I wouldn't want to give him any more problems to worry about, although I know he can see the pain etched on my face no matter how much I try to hide it.

I'm trying to stay strong for him; because I know that he needs me now more than ever, but it's getting harder each passing minute.

_In this world you tried not leaving me alone behind_

He promised he would never leave me, that he would always stay by my side no matter what & yet he abandoned us at the first chance he got, he abandoned _me, _and he never looked back. I don't think my heart will be the same as before.

_There's no other way, I prayed to the gods let him stay._

I almost fell to my knees and begged him not to go, not to leave me, but he ignored my desperate calls for him, and disappeared into the dark forest, not hearing the shatter of my fragile heart.

I try to wipe the flood of tears with the sleeve of my coat and I stare into nothingness for a moment before I take a picture out of my jeans pocket and gaze at it endlessly.

_The memories ease the pain inside, and now I know why_

He has an arm around my shoulder, and we're both grinning widely and waving to the camera. I remember that one very well. It was taken by Harry two years ago on a trip to Hogsmeade. I wouldn't say that we were happy then, because we had our fights and some of them were nasty, but we were content, and we had each other.

_All of my memories keep you near, in silent moments, imagine you'd be here_

I expect myself to cry harder at seeing a sliver of our memories, but I don't, because somehow, it's soothing, it brings him closer and it reminds me that there might have been a time when he actually cared about me.

_All of my memories keep you near, the silent whispers, silent tears_

There are times when I hear a rustle in the bushes around us, I run eagerly towards the noise, not caring that it might be a savage animal or a death eater, and only having in mind that it could be my ginger head, but I reach the source of the sound and find no trace of him.

I sigh in disappointment, returning to whatever I was doing before.

_Made me promise I'd try to find my way back in this life_

I remember a tearful conversation we had, he told me to go on with my life if anything happened to him, and not to mourn if he died, but now I'll never know, because he's gone.

_Hope there is a way to give me a sign you're okay_

I would give my soul to know that he's alive, that he hasn't been captured or killed my any of Voldemort's followers.

He's betrayed me, but I'm dying with worry over him.

Sometimes I let my mind wander, and I can't help thinking that what he said before he left has some truth in it.

We're not going anywhere, danger is all around us, we're two seventeen year olds, all alone in this huge forest, hiding from the evilest, most powerful wizard of all time, praying each day that he wouldn't catch us and wipe us from existence.

I have become weak, and that's not who I am. People have always known me to be strong and independent, I'm supposed to be the logical third of the trio and I'm already falling apart.

_Reminds me again it's worth it all, so I can go home_

But a tiny part of me is saying that in the end, all this suffering will be worth the peace and happiness that will dawn on us when all of this is over. Worth seeing my parents again, worth seeing _him _again.

I can't help but worry about him all the time, but I have a feeling that he's safe, that if anything happened to him, I would know no matter how far away we are from each other.

_All of my memories keep you near, in silent moments, imagine you'd be here_

_All of my memories keep you near, the silent whispers, silent tears_

I hug my knees close to my chest, it's so cold around me that my tears are turning into icicles, but I don't feel anything; the coldness inside my heart is much worse, it's making me numb.

Memories of him flood my mind , and I grasp onto them as they comfort me in a strange, bittersweet way.

_Together in all these memories, I see your smile_

_All of the memories I hold dear_

I realize that we've been through so much together, they weren't all happy moments, but I appreciate every second I got to spend with him. I can almost see his face, smiling warmly at me.

I hate him.

I hate him for making fun of me.

I hate him for breaking my heart so many times that I lost count.

I hate him for betraying me.

I hate him for leaving me.

I hate him for stealing my heart.

_Darling you know I'll love you till the end of time…._

I have always loved him, and I will never stop loving him, despite all the pain he's caused me, despite all the times he made me want to spend the rest of my life crying, despite all the times he made me feel like dying.

Oh, how I wish he was here now, hugging me, whispering encouraging words in my ear, and giving me his irreplaceable warmth.

_All of my memories keep you near, in silent moments, imagine you'd be here_

_All of my memories keep you near, the silent whispers, silent tears_

Sometimes I let fear and despair consume me, making me feel that he's dead, and Harry and I are following suit.

That he's forever gone and that I'll never get to see his freckled face again.

We could be together now, and I could be in his arms, seeking his comfort, but I'm all alone, and he's not here to give me his comfort, because just like every time, he made the choice that broke my heart.

Still, if he showed up now, I would jump right into his arms and forget about everything, ignoring the stabs in my chest that are caused by him, and only him.

He was so foolish, as to make a promise he knew he would break eventually, and I was so foolish as to believe him.

And now, because of Ron Weasley, I have scars so deep, that I doubt they'll ever heal.

_All of my memories…._

**Whew, that was **_**really**_** hard! Well, I'm glad it's finally done.**

**Try listening to the song, it's fantastic!**

**Please review, I really want to know your opinion, I want to know if I have talent or not.**

**Thanks for reading **


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